Chapters 1-4 and 7-9 1. How should a Bat Mitzvah and Bar Mitzvah prepare? 2. What is the meaning of Bar Mitzvah and Bat Mitzvah? 3. When does the ceremony take place? 4. How is the specific date selected? 7. What do the objects in the synagogue symbolize? 8. What are a kippah and a tallit? 9. What are tefillin?

Overview
These chapters develop awareness of the concept of mitzvah and what is involved in taking on the responsibilities and privileges of performing mitzvot, as well as a discussion of ritual objects in the synagogue.

Experiential Activities
Have parents think of a story having to do with their own Bar or Bat Mitzvah that expresses a value they want to share with their child and the group. (A parent that did not experience Bar or Bat Mitzvah can share a story from a similar "coming of age" experience.) The stories can be serious or fight in nature. Share the stories and extrapolate the values.

Read aloud Avot 5:21:

At five years the age is reached for the study of the Scripture, at ten for the study of the Mishnah, at thirteen for the fulfillment of the commandments, at fifteen for the study of the Talmud, at eighteen for marriage, at twenty for seeking a livelihood, at thirty for entering into one's full strength, at forty for understanding, at fifty for counsel, at sixty a man attains old age, at seventy the hoary head, at eighty the gift of special strength, at ninety he bends beneath the weight of years, at a hundred he is as if he were already dead and had passed away from the world.

Compare the expectations of the Sages with the expectations we have today. Have the group compose their own modern equivalent of Avot 5:21. Example: At three we go to nursery school and are separate from our parents for the first time. At six we spend all day in school for the first time. At twelve we pay adult admission to the movies. At sixteen or seventeen we can drive a car. At eighteen we get the right to vote. At twenty-one we can be served an alcoholic beverage. At twenty-five we can rent a car. Etc.

Compare and contrast the group's parallel mishnah to the original. How have we changed? In what ways do we remain the same?

Show examples of various ritual objects e.g. kippah, tallit, tefillin, yad, rimmonim, breastplate, Sefer Torah, etc. Discuss the significance of each. You might visit the sanctuary to examine the objects and also include the Aron ha-Kodesh, Ner Tamid, etc.

Write the names, of ritual objects on slips of paper (kippah, tallit, tefillin, yad, etc.). Tape one to the back of each participant in the group. Have the players circulate, asking yes/no questions to the others about the object taped to their backs. Play until everyone can guess their "own" ritual object.

Teach the blessing recited when putting on a tallit.

Demonstrate the wrapping of tefillin, if appropriate to your community's customs.

Values Formation
Encourage each family to choose a mitzvah that they would like to take on, one that is new for them. (Give them a list from which to choose.) It can be an "ethical" mitzvah like visiting an elderly person regularly, or a "ritual" one like reciting the Shema before going to bed each night. Perhaps they would Eke to take on an added Shabbat observance like not shopping on Saturday. Ask participating families to share their experiences at the next group session.

Ask participants to make their own list of mitzvot. You might wish to point out that some mitzvot involve ethics, some involve ritual, and some involve both.

When people attend a B'nai Mitzvah ceremony, some of them find themselves in the synagogue sanctuary for the first time in many years. They often feel awkward and uncomfortable as this true story illustrates:

Some years ago a rabbi friend, then a student, was officiating at a Bat Mitzvah "Aunt Sadie" had been assigned the honor of dressing the Torah by the parents of the Bat Mitzvah The rabbi called her to the bimah. At the appropriate time he handed her the breastplate to hang on the Torah. "What do I do with this?" she asked. "Well, you put it on," the rabbi whispered. So, Aunt Sadie took the breastplate and hung it around her own neck.

Have the group discuss the importance of understanding the function of the ritual objects in the synagogue. Talk about the necessity of informing those to be given honors at the ceremony so that they can perform those honors properly and can enjoy the experience. (This might be a suitable time to discuss your synagogue's position on participation in the B'nai Mitzvah ceremony of relatives who are not Jewish.)

Spiritual Development
Children should be encouraged to express their spiritual thoughts and feelings as part of their B'nai Mitzvah training. They have questions such as "Must you believe that the Sea of Reeds really parted to be a good Jew? Do you have to perform every mitzvah to be a 'good' Jew? Can you have doubts about God and still celebrate your Bar or Bat Mitzvah?" You might wish to solicit some questions from your students and discuss them. The discussion might be sparked by the following anecdotes drawn from typical real-life situations:

Melanie says," I like doing Jewish things and I feel good about being Jewish but when I pray, I don't feel Eke anyone is listening. How can I stand on the bimah and recite prayers at my Bat Mitzvah and feel honest about it?"

Adam says, "How could God have written the Torah if it contains things that seem to be mistakes or contradictions? Do I have to believe that God wrote the Torah to be a good Jew?"

Locate Maimonides' "Thirteen Principles of the Jewish Faith" in the Siddur, or distribute copies. Relate the basic history of the document. Though Rambam was expressing ideas which were indeed standard Jewish beliefs of his time, other Jews were repulsed by the very idea of a statement to which all Jews were to subscribe. Examine the 13 principles. Do you (the leader) agree or disagree with them? Share your feelings with the group. Students may be surprised to find that the rabbi or educator doesn't fully endorse every word.

Have the group discuss if it is possible to construct a few sentences titled: "What Every Jew Should Believe" or are we such an intrinsically pluralistic group that this is impossible? If the group believes that it is possible, give it a try.

Of the traditional 613 mitzvot, many commentators say that almost an (611 or 612) are mishpatim (mitzvot for which we can discern a reason). One or two (e.g. shatnez -- the prohibition against the use of wool and linen in the same garment) are mitzvot for which there is no logical explanation (hukim). Some say that these few are the holiest of all mitzvot, for they are done solely because God asks. Does your group agree?

Why perform mitzvot? Some believe we should perform mitzvot because the Torah tells us to do so. Some are motivated to perform mitzvot because it feels good. Others see mitzvot as irrational and view their performance without proper feeling as a sham. Choose three people to role-play a debate on this topic and then invite group discussion.

Discussion Points
Ask the group to define responsibility and privilege. Coming of age Jewishly involves both. What responsibilities come at the age of Bar and Bat Mitzvah? What are some of the privileges?

Ask the group to define mitzvah. Compare responses, pointing out the differences between a mitzvah and a "good deed."

Examine the list of mitzvot in the Encyclopedia Judaica under the heading "Commandments." Note the commandments that can be performed only in the land of Israel and those that involved worship in the ancient Temple. Discuss Judaism's ability to be fluid and evolve while maintaining continuity with the past.

Discuss what it means to take on the performance of new mitzvot. What does this involve? Discuss the phrase "l'alot b'kedusha" or "moving up in holiness." What does this mean and what does it have to do with taking on new mitzvot?

Discuss the phrase, "mitzvah gorreret mitzvah" or "one mitzvah leads to the next." What does this mean and how does it apply to our lives?

Why perform mitzvot? What reason appeals most to you (the leader)? Share your reason for "mitzvah-doing," and have the group react and give reasons of their own.

Rabbi Hillel was asked which mitzvah he considered the most important. He replied, 'What is hateful to you, don't do to others." Rabbi Akiba said (quoting Leviticus 19) "Love your neighbor as yourself." Ask participants to choose a mitzvah that they think can stand as the most important and to defend their choices.