Glowing candles, cheerful faces, heartfelt blessings, a good dinner, the joy of song: This is the vision we as parents conjure for ourselves when we vow to make family Shabbat a more central event in our lives. At the end of a busy week, however, what we often confront are tired spouses, cranky children, and the complicated logistics of bringing everyone together around an evening meal. Rather than feeling imbued with the peace of Shabbat, we can easily feel burdened, How then, do we help our families "feel" Shabbat?

Traditionally, we Jews have marked our days in relation to Shabbat. Thus, one would either be saying goodbye to the Shabbat just ended by using the greeting shavua tov, a good week, or, beginning on Wednesday, looking forward to the coming Shabbat and wishing all Shabbat shalom. Anticipation, and the planning it engenders, would help everyone be prepared for Shabbat's arrival.

You can create your own family countdown to Shabbat by involving everyone in the planning and preparation, from baking (or buying) hallah, to setting the table. That routine of getting ready is transformed into a family ritual that prepares all for the arrival of Shabbat.

Create a Shabbat Menu. Whether it is homemade chicken soup or take-out chinese, a favorite food can add to the enjoyment of Shabbat. Gather ideas to plan your own special meal. The matzah balls on page 26 take only ten minutes to mix, and the broth can be your own or the market's. When making the shopping list, don't forget staples such as candles, wine, and grape juice. Have each family member sign up for a task: who will help shop; who will help cook (or pick up the pizza).

Hello Hallah. Making hallah is a great way to involve children in Shabbat preparations. The recipe on page 25 takes only half an hour to mix on Thursday evening and fifteen minutes to braid on Friday, plus an hour to rise and bake. not a baker but want warm bread? Excellent frozen, unbaked hallah is available in many supermarkets. Of course, a weekly trip to your favorite bakery for hallah is a wonderful ritual in its own right.

Set a Special Table. Involve everyone in setting the table. Choose items to set your Shabbat meal apart, whether it is Bubbie's heirloom china or pretty paper plates. Playing Day of Days while you work adds to the Shabbat mood. Last one home brings the flowers!

Personalize Tour Ritals. A homemade tzedakah box, a candlestick or Kiddush cup for each family member, kipput collected from the b'nai mitzvah ceremonies of family and friends: Collect ritual objects with beauty and meaning for your family and bring them out for Shabbat.

Guess Who's Coming to Donner. As children grow older, the Friday night social attractions increase. One way to keep them happy at home is to make Friday night "Bring a Friend for Shabbat Dinner" night. When they know that even their impromptu guests are welcome, children (and especially teens) can begin to make Shabbat celebration their own.