Recently, I overheard someone congratulate a newlywed couple saying “Now you are as one.” Hmm, I thought, if couples truly could be as one there never would be a marital disagreement, let alone divorce.
It seems to me that the concept of a merged persona, be it in marriage or community, is a romantic notion. Indeed, the first lesson of Genesis is that without separation, there is chaos—tohu vavohu. God brought the world and humanity and all that is holy into being by reformulating the world’s merged state into a universe of separations and order—distinctions between light and dark, heaven and earth, man and woman.
A good marriage is to be admired not because the two people have merged into oneness but because of the respect they accord one another by acknowledging what is unique in each, addressing the challenges presented by differences, and building on common values and goals. If this is true of couples then how much more so is it true of community.
Yet despite much chatter about diversity and tolerance, the question arises whether today’s synagogue families understand the centrality of community in Judaism, whether they accept the sacred work of bridging differences by building on common values and goals.
We live in a time when many Jews understand community as the experience they have in Starbucks or on Facebook rather than in synagogue. Jewish children are increasingly tutored privately rather than enrolled in religious school and, ironically, welcomed as adult members of the Jewish community in a prayer service from which the synagogue community is often absent.
What implications does this have for us as Jewish educators? How can we hope that our children will learn to bridge differences within the Jewish community if building community is not a priority?
In my work at Behrman House I have sought to highlight the sacred and social roles of community. Count Me In, a book on Jewish ethics (grades 5–7), includes an entire chapter on “The Value of Community” as does Living as Partners with God (grades 4–5). In such books I invite students to explore the concept of a “holy community,” to acknowledge differences of opinion, and to learn to balance their personal needs with those of the community.
In other books such as Making a Difference (grades 7–9), The Synagogue (grades 3–5), and The History of the Jews (grades 5–7), I’ve sought to help children understand the personal benefits of active participation in synagogue life and the historic context of Jewish community. Finally, in every Behrman House book I’ve worked on, I’ve included opportunities for students to participate in Jewish communal life—prayer services, tzedakah projects, Purim carnivals, communal Passover seders, Israel Day events, and visits to nursing homes and to the infirm.
In these and other ways I have tried to convey that to live as a Jew is to actively engage with the Jewish community, in all its diversity, with all its challenges, embraced by its sacred tradition of covenant.
