Self-doubt kills happiness. This is true for any of us—and so much more so for our kids struggling with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) or learning disabilities (LD). This is one of the things I learned from a recent talk by Dr. Jerome P. Shultz, neuropsychologist and author of No Where to Hide: Why Kids with ADHD and LD Hate School and What We Can Do about It.
ADHD/LD kids are especially prone to self-doubt. Dr. Schultz suggests that the cumulative consequence of poor academic performance reduces a child’s tolerance for difficulty and frustration. Either in reality or in their perception, the message they feel is “I can’t.” Effectively managing stress improves the performance of kids struggling with ADHD and LD. In addition to emotional support, kids need tools to help them self- evaluate and to build up their tolerance for frustration so they can tackle challenges effectively.
This is not about paving the way with pillows, or removing obstacles from the path. Kids with ADHD and LD need to feel in control; according to Dr. Schultz, they get control through competence. And competence is well within their reach. According to Dr. Schultz, having a learning disability is not an excuse for poor performance. It is a way to explain difficulty.
When we help ADHD and LD students understand their disabilities, when we work with them to identify processes that help them develop competence, and when we guide them to implement strategies that give them more of a sense of control, we are teaching them how to work constructively and effectively to break through the frustration that is a very real part of all learning. And we are giving them respect. Things go wrong, mistakes happen—that’s part of life. The focus needs to be on how to repair the errors that do occur.
Dr. Schultz offers eight steps to equip ADHD and LD students for success. He calls it the De-Stress Model.
The DE-STRESS Model
- Define—make sure you and the student understand the condition. According to Dr. Schultz students will FEEL there is something amiss, and it’s ok to ask about it directly. “What’s going wrong here?”
- Educate—teach the student about the condition and its impact on his or her performance. This is a perfect place for the educator and the family to work together to keep communications open. The conversation can then be about how to work around or mitigate the specific hurdles presented by the condition.
- Speculate—empower each student to look for the plusses and minuses, to identify the helpers and the hurdles. Work with the child to identify how he or she can approach the material. For example, have the student name three things that might get in the way, three things that might help. Students who help identify and mitigate hurdles will feel more in control.
- Teach—kids need tangible strategies that maximize success. These can be as simple as taking a few moments to move around before working on material, or covering everything on the page except the material to be addressed.
- Reduce the Threat—neutralize the risk for the student, and thus the stress in the situation. If a full page of material is too much, for example, give ONE section. Take things one step at a time.
- Exercise—physical activity reduces stress.
- Strategize—help the student use what he or she has learned on past assignments or projects to plan ahead when the next one comes along.
- Success—use all these steps to help replace doubt with a feeling of confidence. Be sure to identify the small successes along the way.
Last week I wrote about how Jewish education can respond to the need that Dr. Schultz says ADHD and LD students have for 'an oasis of tranquility'. You can read it here.
