CALLING ALL TESHUVALETES

The spiritual Olympics begin on the first of Tishrei 5769 (Monday night, September 29, 2008). This is your chance to return to your better self and crush your fiercest competitors: laziness and self-doubt. You can do it, but beginners should beware; the teshuvah process is rigorous. Rabbi Israel Salanter (1810-1883), a world-class teshuvah coach, once warned that changing even one negative character trait can be more difficult than learning the entire Talmud. To help you train, BABAGANEWZ recommends a four-step teshuvah training schedule.

Step 1: Get your head into the game.
"Who is strong? Those who overpower their inclinations." Pirkei Avot 4:1

Like athletes who realize that the toughest part of competition is winning the battle between their minds and their bodies, you must get your head into the game. Steel yourself against the yetzer hara, the evil inclination that entices you to take the easy way out. It will urge you to quit training, perhaps whispering inside your head that the task is overwhelming. Defeat the yetzer hara with these training tips from Rabbi Dovid Lieberman, Ph.D., an award-winning author and internationally recognized leader in the fields of human behavior and interpersonal relationships.

1. Take your spiritual development one day at a time and improve gradually. Remember, the Torah says, "For I command you this day to keep God's rules, so you may thrive." (Devarim 30:16).

2. Accept responsibility for your behavior. Tell yourself that positive change begins when you admit, "I am responsible and nothing in my life will change for the better unless I change."

3. Don't condemn yourself because you're imperfect. All humans make mistakes; you can't improve if you don't acknowledge where you've missed the mark.

Step 2: Pump up your heart.
"It is essential to understand that battles are primarily won in the hearts of [competitors]." Vince Lombardi

Vince Lombardi, one of the greatest coaches in sports history, taught athletes that heart power is the greatest strength in the world. The same advice applies to teshuvaletes. Maimonides (1135-1204), Judaism's hall-of-fame teshuvah coach, taught, "All who confess their sins without resolving in their hearts to abandon them" will never succeed (Hilkhot Teshuvah 2:3). Take your teshuvah training to the next level with these tips to strengthen your determination to change:

1. After you assume responsibility for your wrongdoing, make a gut check. Do you feel regret? If so, you're on target.

2. Don't confuse sincere regret with guilt. Remind yourself that you're not bad; you've merely failed to live up to your potential.

3. Consider the effects of your mistakes and you will feel greater resolve to change. For example, the urge to gossip might be difficult to resist until you think about how it hurts someone's feelings.

Step 3: Translate goals into measurable behaviors.
"What gets measured gets done." Peter Lynch, business writer

Coaches teach athletes to translate their desire for success into measurable behaviors. For example, basketball players who want to become better free-throw shooters calculate their shooting percentage and then practice until it improves. Jewish tradition counsels teshuvaletes who acknowledge and regret their wrongdoing to do the same: "Those who cover up their wrongdoings will not succeed; those who confess them and give them up will find mercy" (Proverbs 28:13). Perfect your technique of asking forgiveness by practicing these exercises, and then use this skill:

"I feel badly about the way I acted when I __________. I hope you will forgive me."

"I know that I shouldn't have said/done _______________, and I realize that it made you feel bad. I'd like you to forgive me."

"I'm sorry about ___________. I hope you'll forgive me."

Step 4: Think long term.
"Every time you race, you're drawing not only off of training you did a few weeks ago or even months ago, but also off of running or other activity that you did many years ago!" John Kellogg, professional running coach

Elite trainers remind athletes that conditioning is cumulative. When you learn proper fundamentals and stick to them, you will never rely on brief bursts of intense training to get in shape for a competition. Similarly, Maimonides (Hilkhot Teshuvah 2:1) cautions teshuvaletes that for spiritual training to be complete, it must be for the long term. "One who confronts the same situation in which one sinned... and, nevertheless, abstains and does not commit the sin" has achieved complete teshuvah and wins the gold medal.