Meeting the Other Side
friendship

One wears pants to school, the other only long skirts. One has an earring in his ear, the other has tzitzit peeking out from under his shirt. Are they like oil and water? Cats and dogs? Not necessarily. These kids are part of Likrat (Toward), an experimental program in Israel that connects religiously observant and non-observant teens in cyberspace. Since the founding of the state, observant Jews (datiyim) and secular, or non-observant Jews(hilonim) have disagreed. "The religious want more places closed on Shabbat, and the secular want more open. So they just get angry at each other," says Nehama Elias, a student at a secular school in Ramat Hasharon. "Even if they want to meet, they don't have many opportunities," she adds sadly. Separate school systems, youth movements, and neighborhoods make it difficult for dati and hiloni youth to get together.

"People don't know anything about the other side, so they start to believe certain things that may not be true," says Sivan Mor-Yosef, a dati eighth-grader who lives in Ofra. Likrat is changing that.

Introductions on the Internet

Last year, 20 religious schools paired off with 20 secular schools. Students designed personal web pages to introduce themselves to the group. "It's easier to talk to someone you don't know when you're not standing in front of them," says Nir Neumann, a student at Mikvah Yisrael in Holon. Participants browsed through the web pages, and, unexpectedly, soon formed email friendships. Nir clicked with Ariel Chen, a dati student in Rehovot, when he realized that they both are huge fans of the Maccabi Tel Aviv basketball team. (See Giving It His Best Shot
to find out about one of the team's newest members.) Sivan and Nehama discovered that despite their religious differences they love the same TV soap opera. "We're much more alike than different," marvels Sivan.

After the students became acquainted, they read books about the divisions in Israeli society, and posted their reactions online. "When you first meet someone new, you don't always know what to talk about," Sivan explains. "Discussing books helped us get over our shyness. It broke the ice."

Prejudice Melts Away

The biggest icebreaker, and the most fun, was the highly anticipated group meeting at the end of the year. Participants met at a dati school in Tel Aviv. Everyone put on name tags and searched for their cyberpals. In addition to the thrill of seeing their friends in the flesh, something else happened: Prejudice melted away. "Before I went, I was sure all the girls would be wearing pants, or maybe have pierced eyebrows and midriff blouses," explains Moria Bentzion of Herzliya's Zviya religious school. "But in the end, I felt that despite our differences we were very much the same." Nir had a similar experience. "I saw classrooms like ours," he says with a wide smile on his face. "They didn't study inside a synagogue like I expected, and they even had a basketball court and cafeteria like ours."

Room for Hope

Emotions peaked as the day concluded. Sivan and Nehama hugged and kissed as they exchanged phone numbers. Nir and Ariel slapped a farewell high five. They each came a long way since the program began. With help from Likrat, they have built a bridge of respect and understanding, and journeyed across it to meet the "other side."

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