If your parents get upset because you spend too much time IMing your friends, you're not alone.

Michelle Hamburg, a sophomore at Solomon Schechter High School in Manhattan, spends about four hours a week chatting online. "I love chatting because you can talk to more than one friend at a time," says Michelle.

Her mom doesn't share the excitement. "Spending hours chatting online may be part of being a teenager," she scolds, "but it makes it even more difficult to pull the family together."

The situation is the same in Daniella Rohr's house. Daniella is a seventh grader at the Ramaz School in Manhattan. She's online with her buddies about an hour a day, but her mom thinks it's a waste of time. "Daniella does her studying," admits Ms. Rohr, "but I think the time she spends on the Internet afterward could be spent reading or doing some other activity."

According to the experts, though, the amount of time teens spend chatting on the Internet doesn't interfere with studying. Usually, it's "time that gets taken away from watching TV," says Dr. Sherry Turkle, a professor of sociology at MIT.

Dr. Turkle defends instant messaging. "IMing friends is a form of communication," she observes. "It's a type of socializing, and moreover, teens aren't just talking, they're writing."

One major disadvantage of chatting online is that you can't see your buddies. Sometimes you can't tell if they're being playful or serious when they send a message. "When I'm typing, you can't see my mood," observes Daniella. "Sometimes that's a good thing, like when I'm in a bad mood. But if I'm excited, people can't tell that either."

Rivky, 16, a student at Merkaz Bnos Day School in Brooklyn, New York, raises another issue. "Some people," she says, "create a new personality online." Dr. Turkle believes that's okay. "It's important for teenagers to explore who they are and who they want to be." But Dr. Asher Meir of the Jerusalem College of Technology disagrees. "Young people should be encouraged to feel comfortable with their actual selves," he explains, "and to develop habits of honesty and integrity by interacting on the Internet using their genuine personality and characteristics."

*If you know what I mean.

By the Numbers

More than 68% of Jewish families have Internet access.
Nearly 17% of Jews say they spend 15 hours a week or more online, compared to 12% of Catholics and less than 10% of Protestants.
87% of all Internet users say that communicating with friends and family is the main reason they sign on.
Z O G B Y  I N T E R N A T I O N A L

Jewish Emoticons
:-)9
Shabbat dinner gets me drooling.

&:-)
Took off my kippah: Whoa, instant bad hair day.

:-X
Just say no to lashon hara.

:-)>
My new Hebrew teacher has a beard.

Jewishful Thinking

The advantage of IMing is that it’s fast. Unfortunately, speed is also a disadvantage of instant messages. It’s possible to send a message into cyberspace before we’ve had a chance to think about it. The result might be that we become guilty of lashon hara, bad mouthing, or speaking evil about somebody. Because gossip can be so harmful, the Talmud likens it to murder. Elsewhere, the book of Proverbs warns that “death and life are in the power of the tongue.” So when you waggle your tongue online :-)p be sure it’s for good and not evil.